sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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