I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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