nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
