you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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