I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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