she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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