Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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