I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
