the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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