two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
