I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
soo... how was my night?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
