absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
