is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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