Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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