I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
