3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
