another moral hangover. fuck.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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