Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
