he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
