Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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