3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
