She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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