Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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