it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Randomize
