Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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