I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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