If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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