someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
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The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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