Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
