Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
