Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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