my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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