I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
either way he was missing a nipple.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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