We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
