meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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