Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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