Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
