Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize
