i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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