Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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