just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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