it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
