tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
