dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
