I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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