My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she looked like the before picture.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
