his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
