The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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