I swear she didn't look like that last week.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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