The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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