I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
