ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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