Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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