Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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