did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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