That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
