I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
