and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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