If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
