a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
