East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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