It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
