Pappa wants mamma naked
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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