He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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