You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
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I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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