His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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