i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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