I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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