i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
