where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
