I'm gonna have a badass scar
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
