awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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